Eastern Exploits
by starvingartist83
Summary: Megamind's latest project attracts the attention of an extra-terrestrial genius living halfway around the world. Minion stumbles onto a horrifying secret and Roxanne must face a rival for Megamind's affections.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to my first Megamind fanfic. I've only written for Labyrinth so far but after seeing Megamind for the first time a couple of weeks ago (and many, many times since then thanks to my children...) I came up with this idea and it just wouldn't shut up and leave me alone. It's rated T most likely for suggestive themes and some language. I hope you enjoy.

By the way I try to update a couple of times a week. It used to be every second day but the holidays are over now and it's time to get back to the real world!

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. No one does. He is a law unto himself!

Prologue

Well this is different. It's familiar enough situation I suppose but with an entirely new perspective.

As I sit strapped into a chair dangling over a pond churning with mutant fish I can't help but laugh at the situation I've gotten myself into. No longer the captor, but now the _capteev_. Helpless. Living or dying at the whim of the dastardly genius who has bested me.

Leather straps. A chair, dangling over ravenous fanged Coi, held in place by a chain suspended from the ceiling. Miniature black ninja robots watching for any sign I may be escaping.

I had to admit this evil genius had style.

I watched the numbers on the giant plasma screen in front of me tick down. 2:30. 2:29. 2:28. And so on and so forth.

There will be no rescue. Of this I am sure. MetroMan was always there to rescue my captives but there were no super heroes left for me.

Oh Roxanne. My last regret is that you will never know I'm not the fiend you think I am.

1

The crowd gathered in front of the small, makeshift stage chattering excitedly. Megamind surveyed the crowd from behind the curtain. It was impressive. Not quite as large as the gatherings MetroMan had inspired in the past but then again Megamind knew his achievements were of an intellectual nature, and the mindless followers who hung on MetroMan's every word simply didn't have the brain power to comprehend some of his achievements. That and the crowd's numbers weren't bulked up by undercover brainbots.

The mayor stepped up on the stage and the crowd clapped and cheered. He smiled and gestured for silence. He didn't get it. After waiting for seconds upon seconds for the ceremony to proceed Megamind sighed and stepped through the curtain onto the stage. The crowd got louder with whistles and catcalls. He took out his multi-purpose gun and set it to 'Debilitate' and fired into the sky. A deafening blast shot into the air and a shockwave bowled the crowd over.

There was silence.

"Um...citizens of Metro City, may I present to you our resident Semi-Evil Genius, Megamind!" the mayor spoke into the microphone.

There was polite clapping as the citizens of Metro City got back up to their feet. Megamind smiled. He took the microphone off the mayor and prepared to introduce his latest project, the enormous solar power-plant behind the stage. It was a huge warehouse-type of structure with a huge receiver dish on the roof. What it received was pure concentrated solar energy from Megamind's newly remodelled Death Ray. The end result was cheap, clean energy for Metro City

There wasn't a lot of crime in the city these days (now that Megamind was no longer a criminal) so as the city's new hero he had instead decided to battle the threat of Global Warming instead.

It wasn't as much fun as battling seven-foot tall flying men with killer robots, but it kept him busy.

"Citizens of _Metrosity_, I am pleased to announce that we are now officially the world's first fully solar-powered city! Go forth and use your appliances in the knowledge that your bills are smaller and your carbon footprint is miniscule!" he said, taking out a remote control with only one button on it. He graciously handed it to the mayor, who pushed the button.

Right on cue a great beam of golden light shone down into the receiver dish.

Megamind had actually activated the Death Ray five minutes previous with the real remote currently in the pocket of his cape, just to make sure there would be no embarrassing 'warming up' sequence to go through in front of the entire city. The remote actually came from his remote-control scale model Invisible Car (unbeknownst to him the car was now activated and chasing Minion around the office at home).

The crowd cheered. Some chanted his name. Some wore blue masks that supposedly resembled his face (personally he didn't think his head looked anywhere near that big and they never seemed to get his nose right). He was now the #1 favourite Halloween costume in the city (followed closely by Titan). He had two weekly scheduled interviews on the news for five minutes every Monday and Friday night updating Metro City on the current state of crimes, disasters or (if news was slow for the day) just for some banter or a feel-good story about the Megamind Scholarship for Gifted Children. For the first time in his life he was...popular.

And he liked it.

The mayor shook his hand and gave him a shiny piece of paper showing the city's appreciation for his hard work (and a modest cheque for his time. Now that he no longer robbed banks his projects did need _some_ funding). After that Megamind moved through the crowd signing autographs, patting babies on the head (but never kissing them. _Yecch!_) and handing out miniature replicas of his ray gun to the children present (with the more harmful settings deactivated of course). An hour or so later the crowd began to melt away and Megamind set his brainbots to work, cleaning up dropped rubbish, broken masks and the general mess left behind by large groups of people. The brainbots did their jobs marvellously well. He had been approached to market them as household helpers but they were more than just robotic servants to him, they were his children. His small, biting, floating children encased in steel and bulletproof glass.

Megamind turned to the mayor who was consulting with his minions.

"Excuse me Mr. May-or but I really must be going."

"Of course Megamind. Thank you again for coming." They shook hands. Megamind shook his head as he walked away. One year on and the whole 'we're the good guys' thing was still taking some getting used to. He must have kidnapped that man half a dozen times over the course of his career as an evil mastermind and here he was, shaking hands and accepting payment for services rather than demanding ransoms.

The feeling of weirdness was still there as he stopped into the bank on the way home. He'd parked his car, left it visible in the parking lot, strolled inside and waited in the queue with the handful of other customers. There was pointing and whispering but that was nothing unusual. The customer service was much better too when one wasn't holding a loaded weapon to the head of the cashier.

While he was there he took out some cash for his big night. Not _his_ big night so much as _their_ big night. It was his and Roxanne's one year anniversary.

Megamind pulled up in his driveway and admired his new lair...no not lair. Home.

He'd bought a cheap lot of land no one was using. It was right on the edge of a cliff with a fantastic view of the ocean. There was some slight damage to the cliff, a bit of a crater caused by his own Death Ray a year ago. So the land had been going cheap. It had been no hard task for him to design a new lair...home...taking inspiration from the abandoned observatory that had once stood there. The architecture was modern with a huge dome on the roof with a fully-functioning telescope and a basement workshop containing various controls, dials and machinery to make it feel like home.

He parked his car in the garage next to his rocket bike and walked inside humming Enter Sandman by Metallica. He really did have to digitise his record collection one of these days. He absently wondered why his remote-control scale-model Invisible Car was wrapped up in duct tape and stuffed upside-down inside a cage in his kitchen but there were more pressing matters to attend to.

"Minyon! Oh Minyon!" he called. Minion stomped into the room. He had duct tape in a cross shape over a crack in his bowl.

"Yes your dastardly big-headedness?" he sounded cranky.

"Minyon? What on Earth happened to you?" he demanded.

"Sir you really need to start putting your toys away when you're finished with them." He complained and gestured with his robotic arm at the tied-up car in the kitchen.

"Yes yes of course but later. I'm running late for my date." He announced. Minion looked at his watch.

"Sir it's only five o'clock."

"I know I know I should have been home hours ago."

"You're not meeting until seven."

"Must you rub it in?" Megamind held his hand to his head. "I still have to choose my outfit! Do you have any idea how long that takes?"

"Brainbots?" Minion called. Brainbots flew into the room, each carrying a selection of suits and shirts on hanges. Megamind's lip curled.

"Ohhh...thankyou Minyon but perhaps I should have something with a cape..."

"No. No cape. You're going out for your first anniversary dinner you need something special."

"So break out the Black Mamba." Minion gave him a flat stare.

"No spandex, no cape, no spikes, no robotic limbs."

"That was one time. I'd sprained my wrist. It was medically necessary!" Megamind snapped. Minion stared him down. Megamind sighed.

"All right, all right." He picked a charcoal-grey suit and tie from the nearest brainbot and a blue and grey striped shirt off another one. "But if she doesn't like it I'm holding you personally responsible.

"As expected sir." Minion said with a smile, clearly happy he'd gotten his own way with this one.

"Very well. Where is Roxanne's gift?" Megamind asked.

"Wrapped and ready." Minion pulled a little wrapped box out of a hidden compartment in his gorilla-robot suit.

"Have you confirmed my reservation?"

"Yes sir it's all ready for seven o'clock."

"Flowers?"

"Two dozen blue and white roses were delivered to her desk four hours ago." Megamind opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything else that needed doing.

"Thankyou Minyon. I think I'll go for my bath now."

"And I'll clean out the car while you're in there." Minyon said. Megamind smiled on the way to the bathroom. He really was a fantastic fish. Megamind had started drawing up plans for a modest aquarium for his friend. After today he decided to double the size and add some more bubble machines.

Later, as Minion was straightening Megamind's tie, he asked the fish.

"What will you be doing tonight, Minyon?"

"Me? Um...you know. I've got a party to go to, tearing up the city. Don't wait up!"

"You're watching _Finding Nemo_ again aren't you?" Minion sighed.

"Yeah."

"You know you really should go out and have fun, maybe find a Roxanne of your own."

"In case you haven't noticed the fish around here aren't exactly the talkative types. I'm fine. What time should I expect you in the morning?"

"Oh I should be home by midnight." Megamind checked to make sure he had the present for the fifth time so far. There it was, in his pocket.

"Um, sir, your room isn't really...equipped to deal with company." Megamind's bedroom closely resembled his old prison cell. After so many years in jail it had felt like home, and he just couldn't sleep if it wasn't in a tiny rock-hard bed.

"Yes Minyon I know. I'm not expecting company at that time of night. Why? Do I have an appointment I don't know about?"

"No...I just thought since it was your one year anniversary that you might be staying at Roxanne's place?" Megamind blinked.

"Why would I do that? My bed is here." He laughed and shook his head. Minion confused him sometimes. "Ahh I've got to go. Have a good night Minyon!"

Minion rolled his eyes and went inside. His kind laid eggs and he still got the whole relationship thing better than Megamind did. Oh well, it wasn't his problem. He decided to go find his fish-flakes and start his under-water movie-marathon with A Shark's Tale tonight, just to mix things up a bit.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading/reviewing people! It's much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. I wish I had a Minion though!

2

Megamind rang Roxanne's doorbell and tried to look dashing for the peep-hole. He felt odd in this cumbersome suit. Minion had fitted it well but Megamind much preferred something tighter. He wasn't sure it went with his black leather gloves either and it completely hid the spikes on his boots (cow leather. Roxanne had made him throw away his seal-leather boots when they first started dating). He heard the chain being taken off the door and there she was.

Roxanne. Roxanne smiling. Roxanne wearing his favourite blue dress. Megamind couldn't keep the goofy grin off his face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him long and slow.

"Happy anniversary you." She said. He lifted her and spun her around in his arms.

"Happy anniversary Roxanne. Did you like the flowers?" he peered around the lounge in her apartment for them.

"I loved the flowers. I'll show them to you later." She said. He set her on the floor and happily participated in the human ritual of 'small talk' while she locked up and they were on the way downstairs to the car. Minion had given it a good polish and even removed the spiked fins for the occasion. Carlos the doorman gave him a dark glare on the way out. Sheesh it had been a year, he should really be over the whole dehydration thing by now.

They were seated at Roxanne's favourite restaurant and a waiter was ready to take their order.

"What are the specials today?" Megamind asked. Roxanne hid a smile. He always asked and then he always ordered the same thing anyway.

"Tonight's special is the grilled salmon with steamed..."

"He'll have the eye fillet with mushroom sauce and steamed vegetables." She cut in. She'd seen Megamind turn green at the mention of eating fish too many times before. Even she'd given up seafood for the most part since becoming friends with Minion. Except for shellfish anyway. They didn't count. "And I'll have the lemon and chilli grilled chicken." Megamind smiled gratefully.

"And we'll have a bottle of your best champagne." He added. Roxanne knew he spoiled her rotten.

They attracted a bit of attention. Roxanne was the most famous journalist in Metro City given her alleged relationship with Metro Man, her constant kidnapping incidents and now her relationship with Megamind, and he was the greatest supervillain the world had ever known. Some kids smiled and waved. Less polite adults stared at them openly. During the course of the evening Roxanne heard a few off-colour remarks that made her wish she had a ray gun in her handbag (she'd left hers at home). Megamind either didn't notice or pretended not to. She tried to ignore them and listen to the story Megamind was telling, something about the time he'd taken control of the Metro City zoo, but she was distracted. Tonight was, after all, a big night. It had been one year since the defeat of Titan. One year since Megamind had become Metro City's resident hero. One year ago since they began talking on the hologram phone, having long walks, picnics, flirty texts and dinners out together.

Megamind had been a perfect gentleman this whole time, which made the obnoxious ass sitting behind them all the more insulting.

"Honestly," he was saying to his date. "I don't know what she sees in him. Unless the giant blue head is in proportion to his..." Roxanne forced herself to ignore him, and the giggle that came from the insipid little blonde he'd been talking to.

Megamind was still talking.

"And so there I had him. Metro Man encased in a cage made of meat and lowered into the lion enclosure. Oh I almost had him that time."

"I know. You had me watching tied up in the monkey enclosure."

"Oh yes." He laughed at the memory. "I'd forgotten about that." Roxanne glared at him.

"I haven't. Do you know how long it takes to wash monkey pee out of your hair?" she asked. He ran his hands over his smooth head.

"I admit I wouldn't have a clue." He said with a smug grin. She rolled her eyes.

Their meals were eaten and dessert was on the way and she decided now was as good a time as any for his surprise. Roxanne took a small package out of her purse and put it on the table in front of him.

"I got you this." She said. She fidgeted with her napkin and hoped he liked it. He gave his dopey grin and pulled out a bulky package and slid it over to her. In unison they picked up their boxes and tore off the wrapping paper.

"An iPod!" Megamind exclaimed. Roxanne smiled.

"With your entire music collection uploaded thanks to Minion's help. And a few extras I thought you might like." She said and opened up her own box.

"A ray gun?" she said. It was a miniature like the ones he gave out at his public appearances. He grinned.

"Check the settings." He suggested. She turned it on and cycled through. 'Dehydrate', 'Debilitate ', 'Decoupage' and 'Luv u Roxy'. Roxanne smiled. It was incredibly corny but sweet.

"Thankyou. It's great." She said. Megamind gave an evil chuckle.

"May I?" he asked, and before she could move he took the gun and shot her in the chest with it. She screamed and so did a few of the other diners. There was a flash of light and a 'zap', and Roxanne felt (aside from a faint electric shock) something around her wrist. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Megamind was grinning.

"Do you like it?" he asked. With shaking hands she looked down at her hand.

"Ohh." She sighed when she saw it. It was a simple gold charm bracelet with three evenly-spaced charms. One was a little brianbot, and then a familiar looking fish, and a tiny Hudson made of glass. It was beautiful, and designed to be filled with more charms as time went by. She could forgive being shot in the chest, she decided as she reached for her wine with a shaking hand and drained half the glass. _Interesting_, thought Megamind, _she liked the present but not the delivery_. He'd have to completely re-think the proposal he had planned for next year.

She laughed as she calmed down. "Thankyou. I love it." She tried to ignore the snickering from the man behind her.

Once the bill was paid and they were on the way out Roxanne aimed a look at the obnoxious prick who was counting notes for his bill. His date was in the bathroom. Quietly Roxanne set the little ray gun to 'Dehydrate' and zapped him into a cube. She picked it up and put it in her purse. Megamind put his arm around her waist.

"I think I've been a bad influence on you." He murmured in her ear. They strolled down the street the long way back to the car chatting and laughing. As they passed the fountain in the centre of town Roxanne opened up her purse and tossed the blue cube into the water. She and Megamind chuckled as they walked away from the sputtering imbecile.

The drive back to Roxanne's place was quiet. Roxanne's stomach was knotting a little from nerves and she mentally rehearsed her line so...would you like to come in for coffee? Megamind walked her up to her door. She opened it and he kissed her long and slow. She shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"So...can I take you out for breakfast tomorrow?" he asked with his head touching hers. Roxaanne blushed, relieved she hadn't had to make the first move.

"I'd like that." She whispered. They kissed again and Roxanne's heart beat a little faster.

"Perfect! I'll pick you up at eight." He said. "Goodnight." He gazed into her eyes and then walked away.

Roxanne blinked. Was this a joke? No...he was actually leaving.

She went inside, shut the door and made her way slowly to her bedroom. A vase full of roses sat on her bedside table. The bed was sprinkled with blue and white petals. There were candles everywhere. She'd taken the slight chance that her apartment would burn to the ground so the room would have ambience for when she brought her boyfriend home for the first time.

Oh well. She swept the rose petals all to the floor with her hands, slid out of her dress and got into bed. It was a long time before she went to sleep.

Megamind drove home and floated through the house in a happy daze.

"Goodnight Minyon!" he called to the fish who was still in the lounge watching The Little Mermaid. His watch read 11:45. He went to bed and sighed contentedly as he fell asleep. The night could not possibly have gone any better.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews people they are much appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. If I did I'm sure he'd build me a better laptop...

3

Megamind picked Roxanne up at 7:55 the next morning. She was unusually quiet. He supposed she was still tired from their late night. He drove to a diner they frequented regularly and ordered a strong pot of coffee and pancakes.

Roxanne browsed through a newspaper as they chatted over breakfast. She wasn't upset. Not really. But she was wondering if not their anniversary, what was he waiting for? Oblivious, Megamind chatted happily about his aquarium project he had just started ordering parts for. Roxanne smiled. She was sure Minion would love it.

The television behind the counter was showing the morning news. It cycled back from the weather to the headlines. An image of Megamind wearing the white cape he 'borrowed' from Metro Man last year came onto the screen.

"Up first tonight Metro City can now be known as Solar City, as we celebrate our conversion to solar-based energy thanks to our resident sometimes-good-sometimes-evil genius Megamind." The people in the diner clapped and cheered. Megamind blushed purple and gave a shy wave back. "This achievement has put Metro City in the top ten cleanest cities in the world, and thanks to the range of electric hover-cars currently in production (also designed by Megamind) Metro City has gained the honour of being the #2 most technologically advanced city on the planet." Cheers went up again.

"Number two? Nonsense!" Megamind said. The anchor continued.

"Of course the number one spot goes to Neo Kyoto. Our field reporter Harry Newman has tracked down the mayor of Neo Kyoto and has found a visionary who may look a little familiar to some of us back home."

Harry Newman. Roxanne glared at the pompous ass on the television screen. As much as she was more or less content with being top reporter in Metro City she really did resent it when her much less talented colleagues got all-expenses paid overseas trips to do feel-good bits. There he was, on the screen, babbling away.

"Thanks Chris. I'm standing in Neo Kyoto's town square with the mayor loved by locals and respected by international observers as being the most ingenious visionary of our time. In Neo Kyoto every household has a humanoid coi-bot carrying out the menial tasks of its owners, on the Mayor's dime no less. Petrol burning cars are a thing of the past and Windows Vista was banned from sale before it was released." A group of thigh-high black enamelled humanoid robot were pictured on the screen sweeping a street. Megamind nodded absently.

"I have to agree with banning Vista. But who..."

"Shh!" Roxanne was curious now.

"And this is all thanks to one woman. Miss Tako Kujin, thank you for joining us today." The camera switched to a shot of Miss Kujin.

The people in the diner gasped. Roxanne's heart froze. Megamind's eyes bulged out of his head.

"My God she's gorgeous!" he exclaimed. Roxanne would have aimed a furious look in his direction but she couldn't take her eyes off the screen.

On the screen was a woman in an impeccable white business suit. Her skin was powder-blue. She was bald. Her head was huge. Behind her stood a robot that looked like it came straight out of a cartoon. It was human-height, streamlined and slender. Its head was transparent, and inside was a white coi fish.

"Thank you for having me." Miss Kujin said in pleasantly accented English.

"So Miss Kujin, what did you think when you heard Metro City was catching up to you in the most advanced-city rankings?"

"I was pleasantly surprised of course. We are always happy to hear of new advances in technology and are eager to collaborate and share information with those whose visions are similar to our own." Megamind's head was in a spin.

"Would you be interested in meeting our resident creative genius?" Harry asked. The Mayor smiled.

"Of course. If you are watching, Mr. Mega Mind, allow me to extend to you an invitation to visit Neo Kyoto at your leisure. You and your entourage are more than welcome."

"And may I extend to you the same invitation on behalf of our city. We would be delighted to play host to such an extraordinary woman."

"Thank you." She smiled at the camera. The scene cut back to the anchor and a background image of several blue cubes laying on the ground.

"There were some minor disruptions at the opening ceremony of our own solar plant yesterday when several people were dehydrated by small children with replica ray guns. This has left some people questioning whether they are really the most appropriate toys to hand out to the city's children..." Roxanne turned back to her stunned boyfriend.

"Are you all right?" she asked. Megamind was staring into space.

"I thought I was alone." he said.

"You're not alone. You have a whole city full of people who love you." She snapped, instantly regretting her harsh tone. He blinked and met her gaze.

"I didn't mean it like that it's just... I thought I was the last one left." She held his hand.

"Would you like to meet her?" she asked, dismissing the slight anxiety she was feeling as jealousy. She knew deep down there was no reason to feel threatened by this woman even if she was blue and bald.

"I would. Imagine what two of my kind with our advanced intellect could achieve if we work together. The possibilities are endless! The illiteracy beam and the invisible car would pale into insignificance!" _I like the invisible car_, thought Roxanne. "We should invite her here right away!" Megamind said thumping the table excitedly.

"No!" Roxanne exclaimed. She was willing to go along with the meeting but she did _not_ like the idea of the woman being in her city. Megamind frowned. "I mean, she's invited you to visit. It could be fun. When was the last time you had a vacation?"

"Does prison count?"

"No."

He sat back in his chair. "Well I have been working hard."

"I could cash in some leave and come with you. And I'm sure Minion would love to meet that robot fish." Megamind smiled.

"Yes. Roxanne that's a brilliant idea! I'll get Minion to work out the details and we'll leave tomorrow morning." He attacked his pancakes with renewed enthusiasm.

Roxanne couldn't help but smile. He was adorable when he was all excited. She put her worries to the back of her mind and decided to be happy for him instead.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Upon seeing the morning news while cleaning up New Not-Evil Lair Minion had been in a happy daze. Of course he had anticipated Megamind's wishes and booked two plane tickets to Neo Kyoto, and then ordered another an hour later realising he was unlikely to leave Roxanne at home. It was nice to have her around. It gave Minion someone else to talk to, and another person to try and reason with Megamind when he was in one of his 'moods'.

But it was that fish he couldn't get out of his mind. It wasn't his kind he could tell that straight away. But it was like him. Intelligent. And in a suit! Finally he would meet someone who would understand him, who he could talk to and be friends with on the same level. Not that he didn't like humans, and he loved Megamind as though he were his very own slow older brother, but a talking fish! He couldn't wait to meet him.

Minion heard the car screech into the garage and he sighed. That would have left tyre marks in the driveway. The door banged shut and Megamind burst through the door.

"Minion! Minion! Did you see the news?" he shouted.

"Yes I saw it! Did you see it?"

"Yes!" They both laughed in delight. Minion picked him up and hugged him in his robotic arms. "Ouch! Ow put me down Minion!" Megamind wheezed. Minion dropped him.

"Sorry."

"Minion I need you to book three tickets on the first flight to..."

"Neo Kyoto. Already done."

"And hotel rooms?"

"Done."

"Did you get me a seat near the win-do?"

"Yes, and I've arranged extra baggage allowance for ten brain-bots." Megamind grinned.

"Have I mentioned lately you're a fantastic fish?" he sighed and slumped back on the sofa. Minion sat down beside him.

"Yes, but you can't say it too often." There was a pause. "What do you think they'll be like? Miss Kujin and her minion?"

"I don't know. Smart. Good. Popular. Just like us I guess."

"Do you think they'll like us?" Minion asked. Megamind waved his hand.

"Of course. What's not to love?" he gestured to Minion in his robotic gorilla suit.

"How did Roxanne take the news?" Megamind shrugged.

"She was fine. Why?"

"No reason." Megamind really was clueless. Megamind jumped up again.

"Well we can't sit around here all day. We must pack!" he ran upstairs. Minion shrugged. All he really needed was his fish flakes and a can of WD40. He looked down at his gorilla suit. Perhaps it could do with a buff and comb.


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, sorry for the delay. I'm normally pretty fast with the updating but lack of internet connectivity puts a bit of an obstacle in the way.

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. I don't even have the internet. Not happy...

5

The flight to Neo Kyoto was fairly uneventful if one could ignore the ordeal in customs and airport security. Roxanne supposed there was always going to be an issue or two but she'd never actually seen a metal detector fizzle sparks and die like that. And that was just on Megamind's spiked boots. The security staff hadn't even gotten to the brainbots in the suitcases before the National Guard were called in. It took a phone call to the mayor to get the mess all sorted out. Even then Roxanne dreaded landing in Neo Kyoto and having to explain the giant fish-gorilla-robot and the floating biting brainbots in a language she wasn't familiar with.

Megamind had taken the window seat. Roxanne didn't mind although it was a bit uncomfortable having him excitedly shifting around in his seat on one side and Minion's very bulky (but shiny and neatly combed) suit on the other. She thought the in-flight movie _Snakes On A Plane _was in very poor taste. Megamind on the other hand was having a great time. He'd never flown on a plane before. It reminded him of the capsule he'd been sent to Earth in, just more bulky and cumbersome. He watched the clouds beneath them and smiled.

"Isn't this great?" he asked for the twentieth time. Minion refused to look in the direction of the window.

"Biologically, _sir_, I was never meant to be this far above sea level." He was watching the movie and trying to ignore the unnatural predicament of a fish being above the clouds. Roxanne grinned and looked out the window as well. She wasn't much of a flyer but had to admit the view was awe inspiring. She liked seeing Megamind all excited about simple things like flying rather than about lasers, spikes and acid-spurting robotic sheep. She slipped her hand inside his gloved hand and rested her head on his shoulder. A few people stared every now and then. Roxanne didn't really blame them. They were an odd trio after all. And the slight commotion caused by a fainting Minion when the stewardess offered them the choice of tuna or chicken had attracted a bit of attention. She drifted in and out of sleep. Megamind liked the feeling of Roxanne's head resting on his shoulder.

Thirteen hours later (and three water-changes for the airsick Minion) they landed in Neo Kyoto. They exited the plane together and all three of them expected to be pounced on by airport security, but were pleasantly surprised to be shown straight through customs. The cases containing the dormant brainbots were brought to them on trolleys by airport workers. A man in a chauffeur's uniform stood outside the terminal holding a sign saying 'Mr. Mega Mind." Megamind frowned.

"Minion did you contact Miss Kujeen and tell her we were coming?" he asked.

"No sir. I thought you'd like to make a surprise appearance." Minion replied. Megamind nodded. Minion knew him too well. Yet they were expected. Megamind approached the man with the sign. He bowed and rattled off something in another language. Megamind made a mental note to purchase a language dictionary as soon as possible. The man gestured for them to follow him and a bunch of uniformed people appeared out of nowhere to carry their bags.

Although nobody looked threatening the hairs on the back of Roxanne's neck stood up. This place was different from when she had come here for a week while in college. She looked around. There were more of those thigh-high robots around cleaning the airport but they were no creepier than the brainbots (Roxanne had grown to quite like the brainbots, especially the pink one she had named Bitey). The people in the area were quietly going about their own business...

That was it. Everybody was minding their own business. There were no rude stares. Nobody was bringing their kid over for a photo with Minion. There were no sniggers or off-colour remarks about her or Megamind. Everyone was simply ignoring their presence.

It was...nice.

The chauffeur brought them to a white car right outside the airport's main entrance. It had a little flag on the front and was clearly from the mayor's office. There was a van parked behind it and the baggage handlers carefully loaded the bags and brainbots into it. Roxanne met Megamind's eyes. His excitement made her feel a little more at ease.

"Where are we going?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I haven't a clue but the driver seems to know so that's alright. I call shotgun!" he said.

"It's all yours." She sat in the back seat next to Minion who was much less green around the gills now he was on the ground.

There was a lot of traffic here (being early morning) but it moved in a smooth, orderly fashion. There were lots of pedestrians in this city and all seemed to be on their way somewhere very important as they walked eyes straight ahead and very quickly. Those little robots were everywhere picking up garbage (in theory anyway. The streets looked spotless) and cleaning shop windows. The city was impeccably clean. There were tall sky-scrapers everywhere that put Metro City to shame. Megamind was very impressed. Oh the mischief he could have caused in a place like this... he stopped his train of thought. _No!_ He wasn't allowed to play Dominoes with tall buildings anymore. He doubted the woman he was going to visit would approve of such pastimes either. He had to be on his best behaviour to meet Miss Kujin.

The car pulled up in front of a white building. It was an ornate tower eight...no nine levels high and positively palatial. There were ponds, fountains and carefully manicured gardens out front (tended to by little black robots) and the decorative roofs and windows made City Hall back home look pretty dumpy. Megamind, Minion and Roxanne all got out of the car and stood staring up at the huge building. Little robots approached them and started unloading the van that had pulled up behind them. Roxanne tried to look unimpressed while Megamind openly gaped.

The double doors at the front of the building opened up and a figure approached them. It was the tall, white-enamelled robot that had been on the television with Miss Kujin. Minion grabbed Megamind's arm in a painfully tight grip.

"Megamind! It's him!" he hissed. Megamind narrowed his eyes at the form of the approaching robot. The long legs, narrow waist and gracefull gait told him something else.

"I think you'll find it's a her, Minion." He said quietly.

"Huh?" the robot stopped in front of them. Inside the clear bubble on top of its shoulders was a large white coi fish. It gave a little bow.

"Gree-tings. My name Shiyounin. Please follow me." It said in a sweet, undeniably female voice. Minion stared open-mouthed. She gave him a small smile and walked back the way she came. He shook himself and turned to the other two.

"Well come on! What are we waiting for?" he said, grabbing their arms and hurrying after her.

Through the door was an entrance hall and a huge pond with coi swimming peacefully around. There was a fountain tinkling in the centre of it and a rock garden around the edge. Roxanne gave up trying to look haughty. This place was beautiful. She looked up. She could see all the way up to the beams in the roof. Balconies and stairs ran all the way up around the edge of the room. There was a movement off to one side and a figure began descending the staircase beside them.

She was about Roxanne's height. Maybe a little taller due to the larger cranium. Her eyes were green but much darker than Megamind's. She was once again impeccably dressed in a white suit. Roxanne noticed absently that her body shape was very much human (and much thinner than her own curvy frame. She stood straighter and held her stomach in self-consciously). She had a smile on her face that could only be described as genuine delight.

Shiyounin bowed as she approached.

"Presen-ting Miss Tako Kujin." She said. Megamind stood forward as she stepped down onto their level. The two aliens looked each other up and down and began circling one another. Roxanne hadn't really thought of Megamind as an alien lately. Not since they had started dating anyway but seeing these two together it was hard to think of them as anything else.

Megamind began to smile.

"I thought I was the last one..." she said.

"How did you escape the black hole?" he asked.

"My parents were scientists. They knew it was coming. How did you escape?"

"My parents got me out just as the planet was destroyed." Miss Kujin noticed Roxanne and Minion standing off to the side.

"A minion!" she breathed. "It brings back so many memories." Megamind glanced at Shiyounin.

"Isn't this your Minion?" he asked.

"No. My minion passed on about five years ago." She said. "I was able to use his genes to modify existing coi fish with some success but they just aren't the same."

Minion bowed. "It's nice to meet you Miss Kujin."

"Thankyou. It is nice to meet you. You are an impressive specimen." She said. Megamind wondered what Shiyounin thought of this exchange. If he implied Minion was some sort of inferior creation of science (without provocation) he would later find hot sauce in his coffee or that his favourite cape had the butt cut out of it. The fish's expression was neutral.

"And this is Roxanne." Megamind introduced her. Roxanne stepped forward and shook the alien woman's hand.

"Nice to meet you." She said. Miss Kujin had a firm handshake.

"Likewise. Are you Mr. Mega Mind's human companion?" Roxanne supposed it was as good a description as any.

"Yes I am." She said. There was an awkward silence.

"Mega Mind. That is an interesting name. How did you come by it."

"I chose it because of my superior intellect." Megamind said as though it was not incredibly obnoxious. Miss Kujin smiled.

"I see." She said. At that moment the little black robots brought in their bags. "Goodness what is all this?" she asked.

"This would be my onto-rage." Megamind replied. He unclipped one of the cases and touched one of the brainbots on the dome. It instantly came to life and hovered protectively behind him. _Bow Bow_, it said.

"How charming. Did you create these yourself?" Miss Kujin asked.

"They're my most useful invention so far." He said, affectionately stroking the brainbot on the dome. Roxanne eyed it nervously. She could identify some on sight these days and this was not one of the better behaved of the bunch. It had swallowed Megamind's new iPod just before they had left Metro City. Megamind had been furious until the thing had started randomly playing songs. After that he'd been delighted and he named it iBot. Roxanne hadn't been quite as amused as he was. "They have a week's battery life without needing to charge, wifi link to the collective memory within ten kilometres and synthetic brain tissue." He introduced the machine. "Brainbots, this is Miss Kujin, our new friend." He said to the collective though the one machine. It _bow boww_-ed politely. Miss Kujin stepped back.

"I'm sure it's been a long night for you. I'll have Shiyounin take you to your room."

"Actually we have a hotel reservation." Roxanne chimed in. Miss Kujin laughed.

"Don't worry about that. I cancelled it for you. You are my guests, and guests of this city. You don't pay to stay in a hotel! They should have already returned your bond. There is excellent shopping to be done here. A much better use for the money." She said and glanced at Roxanne's rumpled jeans and tank top. Roxanne raised an eyebrow. Did she just insult her clothes?

"That sounds fantastic. Thankyou Miss Kujeen." Megamind said.

"Tako, please. I'm occupied this morning but please join me for a bath and lunch later. Shiyounin will come and get you at midday." Megamind frowned and shook his head. He couldn't have heard correctly.

"We'd love to." Roxanne stepped in to rescue her confused boyfriend. Miss Kujin (Roxanne couldn't think of her as 'Tako' just yet) smiled, half-bowed, and then retreated back up the stairs.

Shiyounin stepped forward and the coi-bots picked up their suitcases.

"Please fol-lo me." She said pleasantly.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Megamind followed the robot fish marvelling at the technology. She was perfect. The gears mimicked human movement perfectly. She stepped so lightly and gracefully Megamind could almost believe it was actually a human in a costume, if not for the clear head and midriff (which he could see contained an igloo-like sleeping space, some stones and a plant). He looked up at Minion in his heavy, clunky gorilla suit and immediately decided to start working on an upgrade. His Minion deserved better!

They walked up several to the second-highest storey and Shiyounin led them to a door.

"Here your room." She said and opened the door. It was a suite. The lounge contained furniture low to the floor and the walls seemed to be made of paper. Megamind missed Not Evil Lair already. They walked past her (iBot following closely) and she laid a robotic arm on Minion's arm. He looked over, happy for some attention, but was disappointed when she started speaking in her own language and gesturing to a space outside the door.

"I'm sorry I don't understand...Shiyounin." he said the name for the first time. It was a pretty name. She repeated what she had said and pointed to him, then back to the space.

"I think she wants you to wait outside." Roxanne guessed. The fish pointed to herself, and then to Minion, and mimed sleeping with two hands pressed up to the side of her head, and pointed back to the space.

"Robot fish sleep outside?" Minion guessed. Shiyounin nodded inside her bubble.

"Nonsense! Minion sleeps inside with us!" Megamind argued. Shiyounin flinched, and bowed.

"Sorry." She said with lowered eyes. Roxanne put her hand on Megamind's arm.

"Take it easy. I don't think it's her rule." She said. The fish looked nervous.

"I go now?" she asked. Roxanne smiled and nodded.

"Of course. Thanks for your help." The fish bowed again and left. As she went a crowd of coi-bots walked in with their suitcases, placed them gently on the ground. Then they were alone.

"Well I'm going to power-down. I'll set the alarm for eleven?" Minion asked.

"Thanks Minion." Roxanne said. She took off her shoes, picked up her suitcase and carried it into the bedroom. Huh. One bed. Right down on the floor. She'd forgotten about that. She hadn't been to this part of the world since spring break one year in college. _This won't be awkward at all_, she thought to herself. Megamind followed her (boots still on) and looked around.

"Huh. Looks like I'll be taking the couch." He said.

"You don't have to you know." Roxanne said as she unzipped her bag and chose an outfit for when she woke up. She chose a dress this time, determined not to look like a bum in front of their host again.

"Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't make you sleep on the couch!" said Megamind. Roxanne rolled her eyes and kept her mouth shut. She was too tired to argue with him.

"You should get some sleep too. We have to be up in five hours or so." She said and went over to the window. The view was fantastic in the early-morning light. The building was surrounded by ponds and gardens, with the buildings from the city clearly visible behind it. It would look spectacular at night. Megamind came stood beside her.

"I prefer Metrosity." He said. She smiled and forgot her annoyance. "What do you think of Miss Kujin?"

"She's fantastic." He replied. "Those robots of hers are pure genius! I can't wait to find out how they work." She smiled, glad he was happy.

"I'm going to have a nap. We're bathing and lunching at midday." She reminded him. He frowned at her.

"Bathing?"

"Bathing can be a communal thing here. Just go with it. Oh and you're supposed to have your shoes off inside." He looked very uncomfortable.

"I think I prefer my shower." He said as he pulled off his boots and left them in a corner.

"Socks too." She said. She began pulling off her jeans and sighed as he turned around and faced the wall. She folded them and slid under the covers of the bed. She looked at him and chuckled. "You have blue feet." She said. Megamind wondered if the jet lag was getting to her.

"What other colour would they be?" he asked, but she'd rolled over and was quiet. Out like a light. He went into the lounge where Minion's suit was standing by the door powered-down. He could hear the fish snoring inside his castle.

Megamind was too wound up to sleep, and knew that without his hard little bunk at home sleep was unlikely anyway. He looked around the suite and found a bookshelf and, to his delight, a language dictionary. He glanced at the clock. Five hours. He should be able to pick most of it up in that time.

"Rise and shine Miss Ritchie!" Minion said cheerfully. Roxanne groaned. For a moment she thought she'd been kidnapped again (she could almost taste the knock-out spray), then she opened her eyes and remembered where she was. She chuckled at Minion who was sitting on the bed beside her.

"This brings back memories doesn't it?" she said. Minion smiled.

"Yeah. Sometimes I miss the old days." He said.

"I wouldn't go that far." She got out of bed and changed into her respectable grey high-necked knee-length dress. Minion politely had his back to her. "What time is it?"

"Eleven thirty."

"Where's Megamind?" she asked.

"In the shower. I think he's going to meet you later for lunch." Roxanne blinked. He was leaving her alone with Miss Kujin?

"Like hell he is." She muttered and walked out.

The bathroom door was ajar and there was no water running. She could hear music playing. Roxanne pushed the door open and her anger melted away as she tried not to laugh. iBot hovered in a corner playing a Foo Fighters song and Megamind danced and sang along into a stick of deodorant with a towel wrapped several times around his waist. Roxanne leaned against the doorframe and watched his bathroom performance with a half-smile on her face. He was so thin. Yet he wasn't bony. He looked like he might have had fewer ribs than a human though. She was toying with the idea of sneaking over and grabbing that towel off him when he looked in the mirror and noticed her.

"Argh!" it wasn't quite his 'lady scream' but it was close enough. He hitched his towel up higher and put the deodorant down. "Roxanne! Sorry I didn't hear you knock." _That's because I didn't_, she thought to herself.

"Minion said you're not coming to the baths."

"That's right. I'm all clean, no need to go. Brainbots?" The rest of the brainbots flew into the room with his clothes and wrapped a curtain around him and he emerged fully dressed a few seconds later. Minion must have chosen his clothes because he was dressed nicely in a light grey jacket with a white shirt and darker pants. He looked good. He glanced down at his clothes. "I feel ridiculous." He complained.

"It's not to get clean, Megamind, it's a social thing."

"Well I socialise with my clothes _on_." He grumbled. Roxanne had never imagined he would be this prudish when he used to have her tied up in chairs.

"So you want me to go alone."

"Would you? Tell her I'm sorry but I'll meet her for lunch afterwards. Thank you!"

"You owe me." She warned.

"You two will have fun, you'll see. Have some...girl...time." he said it as if the concept confused him. Roxanne sighed, but decided it might give her an opportunity to question Miss Kujin uninterrupted. Maybe she could even ask for an in-depth interview. She decided to take Bitey with her to film it if the alien woman was willing.

There was a knock at the door and Minion let Shiyounin inside.

"It looks like I'm being summoned. I'll see you at lunch." Said Roxanne.

Shiyounin escorted Roxanne outside. They were around the back of the building enclosed in a private garden. Hidden within a grove of trees Roxanne could see a hot spring with Tako Kujin already in it. She looked up and smiled.

"Miss Ritchie. Please join me!" Shiyounin handed Roxanne a tiny towel. Roxanne smiled to herself. If they were expecting an ignorant foreigner they were going to be disappointed.

"Thankyou Miss Kujin. Where is the shower?" she asked. Tako Kujin inclined her head and gestured to a small stone building off to one side that was nearly hidden by the trees. Roxanne went inside, soaped herself and rinsed off. There was a dressing area with a mirror and a shelf for her clothes. She placed hers down next to Miss Kujin's and glanced at herself in the mirror. She knew she was looking fine, given the line of superhero/megalomaniac types she seemed to attract but perhaps she could stand to lose a few pounds around the hips. She wondered briefly if maybe that was why Megamind seemed determined to maintain their G-rated relationship. _Stop that_, she told herself. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She folded her little towel and placed it on her head, then walked out naked to the pool.

She couldn't help it. She held her stomach in the whole time until she slid into the hot water.

"Did you rest well Miss Ritchie?" Miss Kujin asked.

"Yes I did thank you. Please call me Roxanne."

"If you call me Tako." She replied. "Will Mr. Mega Mind be joining us?" she asked.

"No. He can be a little on the conservative side." Roxanne answered. "He and Minion will met us for lunch instead." Miss Kujin – Tako – laughed.

"Men can be strange creatures sometimes, can't they?" she said.

"Oooh yeah."

Rather than talk about Megamind Tako began to ask questions about Roxanne. Her job, her education, and she was interested to hear that Roxanne had visited the city once before.

"It's changed a lot from when I was here though. It's so much quieter, and cleaner." Tako smiled.

"Thank you. When I became mayor I felt the need to tidy up a bit. It was most disorderly in parts. There were some areas that weren't safe to visit after dark. Now we maintain a strong police presence, and the coi-bots alert the authorities if there is ever trouble." Tako was pleasant, and freely answered questions about herself. She had come to Earth as a toddler rather than a baby and been adopted by a wealthy family. She had always been good at school and respected for her abilities and eventually chose to get into politics rather than science. She had been the mayor for five years so far, and the next elections were looking promising.

"Given our...differences...did you have any trouble running for office? Surely not everyone would have been happy having an alien as the mayor." Roxanne asked. Tako nodded.

"There was some opposition for a while but no more than any other candidate would have. Some are too left-wing, some are too right-wing. Some have scandals in their personal lives. Some are corrupt. Me? I was just blue. It wasn't so bad." She answered. Roxanne laughed, feeling more at ease with the woman now.

"Would you be willing to sit down and have a chat in front of a camera with me? I'd love to broadcast an interview for back home. The citizens of Metro City would love to hear from you." _And I'd love to show up that pompous idiot Harry Newman_, Roxanne thought.

"Of course. Tomorrow perhaps? How long are you staying?" she asked.

"I have a week off work. I don't know how long Megamind plans to stay, I don't even know if he's thought that far ahead. He was so excited to meet another one of his kind we just jumped on a plane and came over."

"I see." Tako said. "It is nice to know I'm not alone here."

"Do you have a..." what had she called her? "...human companion?"

"No." There was a fleeting odd expression on her face. Almost like...distaste? Roxanne's guard was back up. "So tell me about Mr. Mega Mind. How was he elected to office?"

"Um..." _Actually he supposedly destroyed our city's resident superhero and forcibly occupied City Hall_. "That's a story that he would probably want to tell you." _With a much more respectable slant on it_, she added mentally. They made small talk for a while longer until the heat became too much for Roxanne.

"Excuse me but I think I've had enough for now. Thank you for the invitation." She said.

"Of course. I'll be out as well shortly. Shiyounin will show you to my dining room once you're dressed." Roxanne nodded and, towel still on head, she got out of the water and made her way back to her clothes. Dressed and made-up she followed Shiyounin back inside.


	7. Chapter 7

I apologise for previous chapters. I've gotten complacent with the whole spelling/grammar thing and have been neglecting the spellchecker. I've gone through the rest, all should be up to standard now and I'll get around to replacing earlier chapters asap...

Disclaimer: Megamind is not mine. He is Roxanne's. Where could I find a nice blue alien like that anyway?

7

Shiyounin silently escorted Roxanne to the dining room where she found Megamind and Minion sitting at a long table excitedly pouring over some sort of technical drawing on a napkin.

"You just have to choose a colour!" Megamind said. Minion thought about it for a while.

"It's got to be black! I don't care if we're the good guys now."

"You always did look good in black."

"Why thankyou sir!"

"What are you girls up to?" Roxanne asked. She walked up behind Megamind and leaned over his shoulder with one hand touching his back. He smiled up at her and showed her the napkin.

"It's Minion's new suit. I'm designing a new one. Shiyounin? What do you think of this?" Megamind asked the fish. She looked surprised to be spoken to and walked over. She looked at the drawing and smiled a big fishy smile.

That looks great! Minion will look very handsome in it! she said.

Thankyou. He will won't he? Megamind answered back. Roxanne blinked.

"Since when do you speak Japanese?" she asked.

"I found a dictionary and phrase book and read it while you were asleep." Roxanne looked stunned. "I think you forget sometimes I _am_ a genius. The giant head isn't just to look pretty."

"What did she say?" Minion asked eagerly.

"She said you'll look very handsome in your suit." Roxanne had never seen Minion blush before. He was very cute in a spiky spiny fish sort of way.

Perhaps I can help you with the suit later? I have some things I can add. Shiyounin asked Minion. Megamind translated for him.

"Yeah sure I'd love that." Minion said.

"What are we working on?" Tako Kujin's voice came from behind them. Shiyounin jumped (flinched?) and bowed to her mistress.

See to lunch Shiyounin. Tako said. The fish walked quickly out of the room.

"A new suit for Minion. Your designs make mine look a little...clunky." Megamind said.

"It's not all my doing. The robotics in this part of the world are very impressive. I just modified it a little." She sat down at the head of the table. Roxanne took her seat on Megamind's other side. Minion sat leaving a space between Tako and himself for Shiyounin.

Shiyounin brought in some bowls of soup and left again. It looked like she wouldn't be joining them. Minion's face fell a little. A few of the little coi-bots were on standby in the corner of the room.

"It took me years to develop a synthetic brain that was compatible with the brainbots circuitry. How did you manage it?" Megamind asked.

"I didn't use a synthetic brain." She said, and hesitated. "This may not be a subject for over food. Ask me later." She said. Megamind shrugged. Roxanne looked over at the robots. They were kinda cute. Like over-sized action figures. Roxanne ate her miso and tofu, suddenly realising she was starving. She wondered what was coming up next. Even Minion had tipped some of the seaweed and tofu into his bowl for a taste. Megamind happily chatted electronics with Tako for a while until the next course came out. When Roxanne saw what was on the plates she froze. Uh-oh...

Shiyounin placed the plates in front of everyone. Megamind looked curiously at the rice balls with various coloured toppings.

"What is this?" he asked and poked at it with his chopstick. Roxanne looked immediately at Minion. He had fainted. She jumped up out of her seat and went to him.

"Minion?" she laid her hand on his glass dome.

"What happened?" Megamind asked as he checked the dials on the fish's suit.

"It's sashimi. Raw fish." Roxanne answered, utterly furious. How on Earth could this woman have served this with poor Minion and Shiyounin in the room.

Shiyounin stood behind her mistress. She looked concerned for Minion but otherwise unfazed.

Shiyounin take the minion outside. And bring in the next course. she said.

Yes, mistress. she replied. Her arms extended out and she lifted the bulky gorilla suit easily and carried it outside. Tako gestured for them to sit as she took a bite of her own food as though nothing had happened.

"Minions can be overly dramatic sometimes, can't they?" she laughed. Roxanne was speechless. Megamind sat down but pushed his food aside.

"Sometimes." He said.

"It's a pity you couldn't join us this morning. We had a wonderful chat. Your companion is a remarkable woman." Megamind perked up at this. He had hoped these two women would hit it off.

"Yes she is." He said happily.

"It takes a special kind of person to be content building their career reporting on the achievements of others." She said.

"Doesn't it?" Megamind said. Roxanne froze again. Had she heard right? That woman just insulted her! Again! Megamind was oblivious.

"Tell me how did you meet?" Tako asked. Roxanne raised an eyebrow. How was he going to spin this one?

"Um...we met through...a mutual friend. Metro City's former defender, Metro Man. Perhaps you've heard of him?

"I have. I also heard you killed him."

"By accident!" Megamind said quickly. He wondered how much she knew of his history. "He's not really dead anyway. He launched his first album two months ago. _Mornings with Music Man_."

"Yes. It got to number 72 in the charts." Tako said. Roxanne's dislike of this woman was growing by the second. She clearly knew much more about them than she had let on.

"That's right!" Megamind said, relieved she didn't think he was a murderer. Tako smiled and finished off her fish, not noticing neither of them had touched theirs. Shiyounin came back with bowls of rice with some sort of chicken omelette on top. Megamind happily dug into that one as she cleared away the three untouched plates of sashimi. "Okay, well if you know that then you might as well know Roxanne was my favourite abductee. We got to know each other trying to defeat a super villain I accidently created and we've been together ever since."

"How charming." She said, and promptly changed the subject back to robotics. Roxanne smiled sweetly and finished her lunch deciding to get herself, Megamind and Minion away from this blue bitch as soon as she could manage.

Roxanne excused herself before dessert citing jetlag as the cause and went back to their room. She lay on the bed fully-dressed and glaring up at the ceiling. What was this woman's game? She wondered where Minion had gotten to. He was a good listener and she could do with someone to talk to. He had been nowhere in sight when she left the dining room.

There was a movement in the corner of the room. She sat up quickly and wiped her eyes but it was just iBot. He was watching her with his glowing red eye. He slowly hovered over to her until he was on the bed beside her, snuggling in with his metallic legs to make himself comfortable. He was warm. Roxanne rolled over onto her side and hugged the robot. Music started to emanate from the mischievous brainbot;

_ You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am,_

_ I'll come running to see you again,_

_ Winter Spring Summer or Fall, all you have to do is call,_

_ And I'll be there yeah yeah yeah...you've got a friend._

Roxanne smiled as the brainbot played it through and put it on repeat. It didn't dispel her misgivings. She was sure that Tako Kujin had motives other than meet and greet and collaboration between two like-minded super-intellects and all that. But the little robot did make her feel loved and that helped.


	8. Chapter 8

8

Minion woke somewhere dark. He wasn't claustrophobic. Living in a small glass dome got a fish used to being in enclosed spaces but to wake up in total darkness had his heart beating fast. The last thing he remembered was a plate full of dead flesh being put in front of him at the table.

"Help! Help!" he called. His microphone had been disabled.

"Shhh." A voice close to him said. He yelped. A light came on and he saw a faint glowing as though the light came from under water. He saw the outline of her and the dim light reflected off her scales. They were in a broom closet.

"Shiyounin? What are we doing here?" he asked. She seemed to understand him, or get the gist of it, through the glass without his microphone.

"Minion. In danger." She said. Minion blinked.

"Huh?"

"Minion must...go." She said. Minion wished he'd picked up the dictionary Megamind had learned from.

"Why? I don't get it. What about my friends?"

"Kujin...hurt fish. Hurt coi. Hurt Minion. Minion go home." She said.

"What about my friends? Megamind? Roxanne?" he said.

"Shiyounin help Minion."

"I can't go without my friends." Minion said. She turned his microphone back on.

I have to go I'm needed in the dining room. Go home Minion, please? You don't know what she's capable of. she said as she left. Minion floated in his dome not sure what she had just said. He decided to go back to the room he shared with Megamind and Roxanne and tell them what had happened.

Minion waited for an hour or so according to his watch and tiptoed out of the broom closet. He wished he'd thought of scanning someone to use in his disguise generator. Perhaps one of the coi-bots. He tried to look like he belonged where he was and make his way up to the fifth floor.

On the fourth he came face-to-face with a handful of coi-bots.

"Hey how ya doing?" he asked pleasantly. "Just looking for my people. You know how it is." In unison the little black coi-bots fell into a fighting stance. Minion's heart began to beat faster. "Hey fellas, there's nothing to worry about here." He said, holding his robot arms out peacefully. The coi-bot in front aimed a sweeping kick at his feet and knocked him over. The rest pounced, holding down his arms and legs.

"What do you want? Hey stop that!" he shouted. One disabled his microphone again. Another began to bash at his dome.

"Hey! Stop that!" he called through the glass. They continued their assault. The glass began to crack and then there was a hole in the dome.

"Argh!" Minion shouted, trying to avoid the jagged shards of glass as he was swept out of his dome into a clear plastic bag one of the coi-bots were holding. He floated. Helpless.


	9. Chapter 9

9

Megamind spent a good portion of the afternoon chatting with Tako. She was fascinating and their stories were so similar. Except that she had been elected into power and that he had seized it by force but that was just one small detail. He had thoroughly enjoyed her company and looked forward to seeing her again once she had finished her important business. He briefly wondered where Minion had gotten to and then smiled. He was probably out somewhere chatting up Shiyounin. And good for him. It was about time he'd found someone.

He made his way up to the room he shared with Minion and Roxanne and found Roxanne curled up on the bed with iBot who was quietly playing some tunes. He liked seeing Roxanne when she was asleep. It hadn't happened often but she looked so peaceful. Not arguing with him, or stressed about work, or giving him that odd look she'd been giving him lately towards the end of their dates that made him hurry through his 'goodbye' and run for the invisible car.

She was not asleep this time. She was staring at the wall and Megamind knew something was wrong. And from what he'd learned of human relationships from various television shows he concluded it was something he had done.

"Roxanne? Are you okay?" he asked. He stopped short of sitting on the bed beside her and instead sat on the floor.

"Jetlag." She said. Megamind raised an eyebrow.

"Mmmhmm, seriously this is me you're talking to. I've been kidnapping you for years and I know when you're upset." She rolled over and faced him.

"I want to go home. Something is seriously wrong here." She said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean Tako Kujin knows far too much about us. And yet she's never tried to contact you before this, doesn't that seem strange? She's insulting me every chance she gets. She's trying to make me look stupid and I think it's because she wants you."

"Me?" Megamind laughed. "In case you hadn't noticed I didn't make the list of Metrosity's top 100 eligible bachelors this year." He'd come in at 103, just ahead of Hal 'Titan' Stewart.

"It doesn't matter. You're like her. She doesn't like humans and she's disgusted with the thought of being with one. She wants you for herself. That's why she invited us here."

"Using that logic I should worry about you with every human man on the planet." He remarked. He found this exciting. He'd never had a woman jealous over him before. "I don't want her Roxanne. You're the only girl for me." He tried to kiss her but she turned away. She'd never done that before. His face fell.

"I trust you. I don't trust her. I want to leave." She said.

"I don't see why." He said, frustrated. He'd hoped he would have more time to get to know the only other blue alien on the planet. He met her gaze and the worried look in them calmed him down. "How about this then? We'll stay tonight and I'll get Minion to book us seats on the first plane home tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Of course. Tako and I can get to know each other from a distance. That's what Facebook and Skype is for!" Roxanne thought about it for a minute, chewing her bottom lip absently. "I can't ignore her existence Roxanne. She is the closest thing to family I'll ever have." He said quietly. _Family_. She'd never thought about it that way.

"Okay then. I'm sorry Megamind. I'm probably imagining it."

"It's perfectly natural to be jealous. I am incredibly handsome after all." He said with a grin. Roxanne glared, and then smiled.

"Whatever." She said. He gave one of his patented evil laughs

"And we can always come back another time if you change your mind" he suggested. "In the meantime why don't you go and visit the shopping district? Go and buy clothes and shoes and whatever else women like to buy, eat some dinner that isn't the cold dead flesh of an unfortunate fish and we can catch up tonight."

"Okay. Your obvious chauvinism aside that's not a bad idea."

"I'll have dinner with Tako and see if she can help me with these robot-suit specs. It's just about done but it needs a core to direct the movements and I just can't figure out how to make the synthetic brain compatible. Minion will be with me the whole time in case she has the sudden urge to ravish me in your absence." He said, and then instantly regretted it. She looked shocked at his choice of words. He was normally so careful to keep what he said completely asexual. There was an awkward silence. "It was just a joke."

"I know." She got up off the bed and stretched. He glanced up and down her body as she arched her back. He let his eyes linger on her neck as she tilted her head back and then side to side. Megamind wondered how on Earth she could ever feel threatened by Tako. "I'll go find Shiyounin and ask her to call me a taxi."

"There's nothing to worry about. Oh but if you see Shiyounin could you ask her to send Minion up? I'd like his help with a few things. Take Bitey with you just to be safe."

"Okay." She kissed him softly, stroked iBot on the dome, and then opened up one of the brainbot suitcases. She touched Bitey and her pink glow came to life. "Come on Bitey. We're tourists this afternoon."

"_Bow boww_." It agreed. They left the room.

Megamind took off his jacket and sat down in front of the television and waited for Minion. He flicked through a few stations and found a cartoon about gigantic human-driven robots. He hoped he could maintain a friendship with Tako via Facebook and visit occasionally. He was sure Roxanne would come around eventually.


	10. Chapter 10

10

Tako examined the minion on the table in front of her. It was truly a remarkable creature with such a primitive body yet such a highly-evolved brain. Her attempts to clone her own deceased minion met with some minor success but her true accomplishment was fusing of the minion DNA with that of the local coi fish. The coi were nowhere near as intelligent and had to be taught to speak rather than picking it up for themselves. Even then the only real success she ever had was with Shiyounin. She had to have a neural implant to be heard but she was intelligent, at least as intelligent as most of the humans Tako had ever met. She was also incredibly compliant. Unlike Tako's original minion.

This minion was unconscious. She had anaesthetised him temporarily. She did basic tests. Size, weight, brain size and small samples of skin and blood before returning him to the tank in her lab. With this living specimen she would finally be able to clone the species and create a worthy set of servants for herself and, she smiled at the thought, the next generation of her kind.

A male. Of her species. She had never dared to hope she might find one. She had done tests and knew her species (it saddened her that she didn't even know their name) was biologically and genetically compatible with humans but the very thought of creating such a hybrid, an abomination, sickened her. She had planned on cloning herself but now she wouldn't have to. Or she still could, and between hers and Megamind's modified DNA and (she smiled again) their children they would be able to create a more diverse gene pool.

She cleaned up her operating table and sat down at the computer in the cool underground lab. She called up the coi-bot camera footage of the downtown shopping district. She ignored the residential bots and cycled through the street cleaners. She knew the human female would be around there somewhere. The coi-bot in the suite she had given to had relayed that information to her. Ahh there she was. She had a few bags on her and was having a good snoop around while she was there. Tako hated the press. Even her own city-controlled media were a pain in the neck on occasion and she'd have to send in the coi-bots to make sure one reporter or another 'disappeared' before dissent spread too quickly. There hadn't been too many incidents lately. The citizens of Neo Kyoto had learned their place.

This woman was trouble. Tako had considered having her 'disappear' but she doubted Megamind would simply let it go. Her plan was a juvenile one really, but then so was the human involved. A complicated plan would undoubtedly fail due to Tako over-estimating the woman's intelligence.

Tako opened a channel to the coi-bot whose camera she was seeing through.

Observe the foreign human women. Notify me when she leaves and follow her. I may need you to delay her at some point. It acknowledged her request with a bubbling sound. She sighed. It was frustrating that her coi-bots couldn't talk but they were a recycled experiment. She had bred a batch of coi who had mutated horribly and whose brains could not handle speech patterns. She had planned to dispose of them until she realised she was having a problem with the robot's circuitry.

Megamind was right. Synthetic brains just would not work. But the modified coi fish brains had worked perfectly.

Megamind. She smiled as she thought of him. She had to go and get ready for dinner soon. She had a man to seduce and smelling like a minion was not going to get her anywhere.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews people! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far

Antrxx, I've been spelling it 'Minyon' to try and mimic Megamind's pronunciation from the movie, although I'm not sure how consistent it's been. Sorry if it's distracting!

Dani Kin thanks heaps, I'm a fan of your work

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. I watched it this afternoon though...

11

Megamind lost track of time as he worked on designs. He'd used up all of the note pads he had brought and was now resorting to squares of toilet paper. It was frustrating not being able to hang them up for viewing. It was also frustrating not having Minion around to complain to. He hadn't seen the love struck fish since he'd been carted away by Shiyounin at lunch.

He had to admit he felt a bit jealous. He'd never had to share Minion with anyone before. He wondered if the fish would even want to come home with them. The thought of losing his friend saddened him.

Megamind changed his clothes for dinner. He found a black suit and black shirt hanging up in the wardrobe. Now this one he didn't mind, although it could use a higher collar. Minion was a fish of many talents but fashion designing was definitely not one of them. He turned to the brainbot on standby in the corner of the room.

"What do you think, iBot?" he asked. The brainbot scanned him up and down and let out a noise that sounded a bit like a wolf whistle. Megamind grinned.

"Oh stop." He said. Megamind glanced at his watch. He had thought Roxanne would be back by now. He shrugged, straightened his jacket, and headed downstairs.

This meal looked much less formal than before. There were only two spaces set at the end of the long table and there was a laptop set up. Megamind grinned. This looked like his kind of night. Tako already sat in one seat wearing a blue dress very similar to his favourite of Roxanne's

"Megamind!" she got up and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. "I hope you rested well. I'm sorry I've been preoccupied with work this afternoon."

"It's no problem. I don't suppose you've seen Minion around have you?" she laughed.

"Yes. He and Shiyounin went off together some time ago. He's not going to want to leave this place you know." Megamind sighed.

"I know. It's up to him though I won't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do." He sat down at the table. There was already food set out. A selection of those balls of rice with toppings (they didn't look like fish this time. More like meat, egg and some sort of green salad that looked interesting), noodle soup and a selection of dumplings. Megamind happily helped himself.

"You have an interesting relationship with your minion." She said. Megamind shrugged.

"He's my friend." He said around a dumpling.

"He's your servant."

"Sometimes it feels like it's the other way around." He said. She laughed.

"You are funny." Megamind reached for a little jug of drink and filled up his little cup. He'd been expecting warm tea. He choked.

"What is that?" he gasped. She smiled and poured one for herself.

"Sake. You're meant to sip it." She laughed. They ate and talked robotics. Tako watched him try to work out problems she already knew to be impossible. She refilled his cup and moved closer to him as the evening went on. The sake was having its intended effect (it was spiked with something much stronger) and he was happily talking and laughing a little louder than he normally did. He didn't notice her hand resting on his leg. Tako's watch beeped and flared red for a moment. That was the coi-bot's signal. Roxanne was on her way up. Tako rested her arm on the back of Megamind's chair.

"So tell me, what you see in that human girl." she asked. Megamind's face was pink-tinged from the spiked sake.

"Roxanne? She's just...great." he grinned a silly grin. "I'm going to marry her next year. Don't tell her." He shook a finger at her. "She doesn't know yet."

"I'm sure. Doesn't it make your skin crawl though, being with another species?"

"What other choice was there? I thought I was alone here. Anyway, humans are _great_. _Roxanne's_ great." Tako sighed.

"You have a choice now, don't you?" she said quietly. He sat and blinked as if trying to work out what she was saying. Just as she saw the door to the dining room open Tako leaned over and kissed Megamind's lips. Drunk and startled, he kissed her back for a few moments before he realised what he had done. He pulled away.

"Um, sorry Tako I think..." he heard the movement behind him and froze. Murphy's law decreed it just had to be... "Roxanne?" he turned to face her.

She had dropped her bags on the floor. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hanging open. Tako thought she looked a bit like a fish gasping for water on her dissecting table and allowed herself a small smile. Roxanne's stunned look gave way to fury.

"You..." she hissed, too angry to even think of an appropriate insult.

"Roxanne please it's not what it looks like." He said running over to her.

"Oh try an original line at least." She said and tore at her wrist. Her little bracelet snapped of and she threw it to the floor. "I'm leaving. Don't bother calling me when you get back." She stormed off, hoping the cab driver hadn't gone too far away.

"Roxanne!" he called as she started to run. The room was spinning now and he tried to stay on his feet. Then Tako was there holding him up.

"It's all right." She said and helped him back to his chair. He looked around for some water but there was only more sake. He ignored his cup. "It's better it happened this way. It would never have worked. Better it ends now than in a few years when you have blue half-human spawn running around." Megamind's head spun again, but this time it had nothing to do with the sake. His future had crumbled around him. Marrying Roxanne, living with her in New Not Evil Lair, finally getting the nerve to spend the night with her, having children...all gone. He turned to Tako, regaining his senses.

"You planned this. Roxanne was right about you!" he got up, swayed and then steadied. She looked at him wide-eyed.

"Planned what? Megamind think about what you're saying."

"I am." His head started to clear. "You think just because we're from the same planet we can be together? I'm in love with Roxanne, not you!"

"What does love have to do with it?" she asked. "We're the same kind. We are better than these animals. We both conquered our cities on our own. Imagine what we could do if we worked together. Forget cities. We could establish our _own_ kind as the rulers of the world!" Megamind stared at her, horrified. Were all their species megalomaniacs? Did he even stand a chance of being good?

He was damn well going to try anyway.

"I don't want the world. I just want my girlfriend back. Goodbye Tako." He turned and went to walk away. As he opened up a channel on his watch to call the brainbots he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head and the room went black.

iBot hovered quietly in the room. It wasn't a good idea to leave iBot alone anywhere unsupervised since he figured out he could tap into other peoples' wireless internet connections. He was currently downloading songs off iTunes. The iPod he had swallowed had linked up to his internal memory so he had terabytes upon terabytes to fill.

He hovered near the window for some better reception. Suddenly there was a crash and the door to the suite was flung open. iBot hid behind a curtain. Two coi-bots walked into the room and spoke to each other in their odd bubbling language. They were looking for something. One of them pointed to suitcase full of brainbots. iBot began to buzz with anger as they picked it up. He flew out and _bow bowwed_ at them angrily. They bubbled back. One of them aimed a swing at him and he flew up out of their reach. They bubbled at him again and left. He watched them go and went to the second case of brainbots. He flipped up the lid. Four brainbots flew out. He uploaded the video footage of the bot-napping to their shared memory and they all buzzed angrily. iBot flew out of the room and the others followed.

iBot stopped in mid-air and ducked below the level of the safety rail on the balcony. The blue woman and the other fish robot were tying Daddy into a chair. The woman said something they couldn't understand and the fish robot hoisted him up on some sort of pulley system attached to the roof. The brainbots all looked at each other.

{{What do we do?}} one asked. iBot scanned the room. There were hundreds of coi-bots.

{{Too many enemies for us.)}

{{Mommy. Where's Mommy?}} asked Bitey. She was nowhere to be seen. {{Find Mommy!}} iBot ordered. They scanned the building but there were no other humanoids around.

{{Out the window.}} Bitey suggested. They all hovered quietly back into the suite and out the window. iBot spied Megamind's ray gun on the floor near the sofa and grabbed it on the way out.

{{Split up. Find Mommy!}} iBot said. The brainbots _bow bowwed_ and flew off to search.

Megamind awoke to find himself seated in a chair. He felt queasy, as though he was moving even though he sat still. He tried to rub his eyes but his hands wouldn't move. He groaned and opened his eyes, then wished he hadn't.

The chair he was seated in was suspended by a chain above the enormous coi pond downstairs in the City Hall. The fountain bubbled away peacefully as the chair swung crazily. He bit back a scream and looked around.

"Tako!" he shouted. "Let me go!" he looked down and felt dizzy.

"Do you think this is what I wanted?" he heard her voice. She was on the balcony on the top floor of the building looking straight at him. There were coi-bots everywhere. Surrounding the pond and lined up along the balconies. He glanced towards his own room. The brainbots! He looked down at his watch. Or where it should have been. There was only a pale-blue tan line there now. "I wanted a partner. A mate. Someone to share the world with and instead all I got was a few DNA samples and some obsolete robots." She gestured in the other direction. There, lined up near the coi pond, were five of his brainbots.

Five. That meant five were missing. His heart sank. What had she done to them?

"Roxanne?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

"Roxanne is at the airport on the next flight home. She just received a text from your phone. She won't be back." Megamind bowed his head, crushed but relieved that she was safe at least.

"So what happens now?" he asked. She grinned. Megamind recognised it as the same maniacal grin he wore when he was about to explain his latest scheme to his latest victim.

"Now, my dear Mega Mind, you go for a swim with my fish." That didn't sound too bad. Then the water started to bubble. "There is an electric charge built into the fountain that carries a current into the water. Lethal at high voltage. I keep it there to keep the coi-bots in line. They're amazingly obedient when their family is in danger of being electrocuted." Family?

It all made sense. Tako had never solved the problem of the synthetic brain. He stared, horrified, at the coi-brain powered robots. Tako continued. "But the electricity produces interesting effects at low voltage. Pain, fear, bloodlust. You can't blame them really I haven't fed them in a few days." She said. Megamind craned his neck to see the pond and sure enough the fish were making the water boil like a tank full of piranhas with a t-bone steak. He should know. He used a tank full of piranhas and a steak once. Then he froze. Oh no...

"Minyon?" he called. The fish was in the pond with the others, snapping and snarling with his razor-sharp teeth. "Not my Minyon!" he cried.

"My minion now." She said. "With your minion and your genes I will recreate our world and take over this one. I have no further use for you." Megamind met her eyes. He couldn't understand so many things. Who would want to rule the world? Metrosity alone was more than he could handle. What had turned Tako Kujin into this monster? And how did she get his DNA?

He decided he didn't want to know the answer to that last one.

Miss Kujin brought a remote control out of her pocket and pressed a few buttons. A giant screen lowered itself from the ceiling with a red digital clock face on it.

5:00. 4:59. 4:58...

Megamind thought of all the good he had in his life. His friendship with Minion. The love of his life, Roxanne. His loving brainbots. The handshakes he'd had with the mayor. The love/hate relationship he had with the Warden. He remembered the day, not so long ago, when he'd had a Facebook friend request from Music Man.

"I feel sorry for you Miss Kujin. You will always be alone." He said. He realised the truth in what Roxanne had said in the diner only a few days ago. He never had been alone. Tako Kujin said nothing and walked away. Megamind tried not to look at the screen but it drew his eyes like a magnet.

4:00. 3.59. 3:58...


	12. Chapter 12

Dani Kin: Haha I'd love to say I'm productive but I finished writing this story a week or so ago. I edit the chapters one at a time (when I have time) and upload for your reading pleasure.

Thanks for all the reviews people! You make me a happy nerd

Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. Some dispute I own a mind at all...

12

Roxanne sat in the back seat of the taxi staring out the window at the empty streets. Tears silently ran down her cheeks as the image of the two of them kissing played over and over in her mind. Why? Why would he do this to her? After all they'd been through together. After all the reassurance he'd given her...why?

_Because he's evil_, a part of her brain said.

_Because you're not blue. Because you're not a size minus-one. Because you're not like him_, another one said.

_Shut up_. That was the angry part.

Her pocket buzzed. It was her cell phone. She hesitated, not sure if she wanted to read what he had to say. Finally she took a deep breath and opened the message.

_Good riddance to your fat ass. The sex was terrible._

Roxanne stared at it and re-read it several times. Was he for real? The tears flowed freely now. What kind of game was he playing? She wound down the window and tossed the phone out of the car.

Something hard flew through the window and hit her in the head.

"Ow! What the..." she stared at it, confused. It was her phone. Suddenly the driver yelled something, swerved and hit the brakes. Roxanne saw something blue and glowing through the windshield.

_Bow boww_. Oh no...

"_Go away_." She mouthed at it. The driver was talking to her and looking from her to the robot. It _bowwed_ again. Two more started tapping at the window. The driver yelled at her in his own language.

"Go away. Go back to Megamind!" she shouted.

"You! Out!" the driver ordered.

And so as the cab screeched away Roxanne stood on the side of a deserted alley in downtown Neo Kyoto with no luggage, a dented cell phone and five brainbots. She swore.

"What do you want? Your Daddy made it pretty clear he doesn't want me around anymore. Why are you here?" They all _bowwed_ on top of each other. "Stop it I can't understand you!" she shouted. iBot _bowwed_ once more and started playing music.

_Rescue me__  
><em>_Oh take me in your arms__  
><em>_Rescue me__  
><em>_I want your tender charms__  
><em>_'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue__  
><em>_I need you and your love too_

Roxanne was unimpressed.

"Have you been on iTunes again?" It's red eye started looking around everywhere but at her.

_Boww_.

"Whose account have you been using?"

_S_omething fell out of its metal jaws. It was her backup credit card. iBot played the song again and she picked up her likely maxed-out card off the ground.

"Rescue who? I don't get it..." a suspicion started forming in the back of her mind. Something to do with that text message...

_Daddy_. Her stomach knotted.

"He's in trouble?"

_Boww_. It bobbed up and down.

"Miss Kujin?" the name tasted sour in her mouth. Everything fit. Megamind hadn't written that message.

_Boww_. It bobbed up and down. She sighed. She guessed she had to rescue Megamind from whatever trouble he'd gotten himself into but then he would have some explaining to do.

"Okay. Which way?" she looked around. It would be a long walk back. Immediately she was hoisted up by two brainbots grabbing her upper arms. "Ow! Hey how about a bit of warning? Stop that! What are you doing?" A curtain appeared out of nowhere as they flew zigzagging through the city, iBot started blasting action music and she felt her clothes being tugged off her and being zipped into something tight. "Brainbots what the hell?" she shouted.

_Pres-en-tation_, Bitey boinged.


	13. Chapter 13

13

1:45...1:44...1:43...

And so I sit here waiting and wishing it would all just be over already. How annoying this waiting thing is. It's no wonder most of my abductees over the years have less than fond memories of the experience.

Crash! I hear the sound of breaking glass and splintering wood from down below. I look to see what it is...

Brainbots!

Three rocketed through the doorway and bowled over a dozen or so coi-bots, and two are flying towards me carrying...

"Roxanne?"

A crowd of coi-bots standing on the top balcony launched themselves at the brainbots who flung Roxanne in his direction before they were pounced on and dragged down. Roxanne forced down a scream as she flew through the air and clutched the chair which was now swinging crazily above the boiling pond.

"You came back!" Megamind exclaimed. She clung to the chair for dear life.

"Yes I did." She clambered up so she could place her feet on the cross-beam of wood between the chair's front and back legs.

"What's the plan?" he asked as she worked at releasing his hands. She was in one of his blue and black body-suits. It clung to her body like a second skin and was clearly too tight to zip up past her breasts, leaving a massive amount of cleavage on display. In spite of his situation he suddenly found himself very distracted. She looked up and saw the explosives attached to the chain high above them. She couldn't climb up there. If she could she wouldn't know what to do with them.

"I have no idea. Maybe swing the chair so we land outside the pond?"

"The pond is too big for that." He said. That had been his first thought.

"Well I don't know! You're the genius and I just got here! Think of something!" she shouted.

1:20...1:19...1.18...

"I don't know Roxanne...you shouldn't have come back." He realised they were both doomed.

"Don't give up. I've got this." She brought out his ray gun.

"Please don't shoot the explosives!" he said quickly. She glared at him.

"I'm not stupid." She said.

"Of course not. I love you in that suit by the way." His brain whirled as he thought of possible solutions. He could probably destroy the pond but that would kill all the coi and Minion too. Dehydrating them both would be useless because they would hit the water when they fell. He found it hard to think with his eyes being drawn down the front of her suit.

She blushed in spite of their predicament.

"Seriously, Megamind? You show no interest in my body for a year and suddenly _now_ you're feeling it?" She muttered.

"You thought I wasn't interested?" He said. She looked at him, surprised. "I just wanted to wait."

"For what?"

50...49...48...

"Until we were married." Roxanne's heart melted. "That way if I was no good at...you know... it...you were stuck with me anyway." And with that the moment was over. He noticed the change in her expression and hastily continued. "Don't worry. I've got plans to make a mechanical device in case of that eventuality. I think you would have found it more than satisfactory."

"Shut up Megamind."

30...29...28...

"I love you Roxanne." He said quietly. She carefully lowered herself down to sit in her lap and kissed him.

"I love you too Megamind." She rested her head against his. Megamind began to consider destroying the pond again. His choice was his best friend or the love of his life... it was too hard. He looked at the ray gun in her hand, and then froze.

"Roxanne! Set the gun to 'dehydrate' and shoot down!" Her stomach lurched and she fumbled with the gun, almost dropping it in the process. She pulled the trigger. For a split second there was a void in the pond but then the water rushed back in.

10...9...8...

"Again! Keep on shooting!" he shouted.

She squeezed the trigger and held it down aiming all over the pond. At first it didn't look like it was working but then she saw them. The little blue cubes on the dry rocky bottom of the pond.

"Keep going! There can't be a drop of water left!" he shouted excitedly. Either they would live or it would all end right now. Roxanne shot wildly into the drying pond.

3...2...1...

The explosives went off with a _bang_ and they fell. They both screamed and Roxanne clung to him with one arm, still shooting the gun with the other. She squeezed her eyes shut as they landed...

With a crash, not a splash.

"Owww." Megamind groaned from below her. The chair had shattered on the rocky pond bed and its lining of diamond-hard blue cubes. Roxanne kept shooting the pond around her, too scared to stop even thought it was bone dry. "Roxanne stop! It's done!" she kept shooting until he untangled himself from the shattered chair and gently took the gun out of her hands. She was shaking.

"It's okay. You did great." He said, and then paused. The empty pond was surrounded by coi-bots. Megamind froze. The pond was surrounded by _very_ _angry_ coi-bots who thought all the coi fish had just been destroyed. "Brainbots! Get Roxanne out!" he shouted. Only one, Bitey, came when he called. The rest were being held down by coi-bots. It grabbed her and flew with some effort up and clear of the pond.

"No! I'm not leaving you!" she shouted to him.

"Apparently you are." He said and turned to the coi-bots.

They aren't dead! he shouted. They were all bubbling to each other around him, ready to pounce. He spotted Shiyounin standing off to one side looking terrified. He followed her gaze. Tako Kujin had returned. And she was furious.

Get him! Tako screamed.

Shiyounin I need water now! Please trust me! he shouted. He looked up at the dry fountain and saw the sparking wires embedded in it. That had to go before the water came back or he would be eaten. He set the ray gun to 'destroy' and shot at the fountain until it exploded in a shower of shrapnel. The shock blew the advancing coi-bots backwards. Megamind was thrown backwards again, but the wiring had disintegrated.

Shiyounin was standing stunned with her mouth hanging open. Water? Where was she supposed to find water from? What good would it do? The coi-bots were advancing again. Megamind shouted again. Shiyounin now!

She looked at the little blue cubes in the bottom of the pond and hoped wondered what to do.

Shiyounin stay where you are! Tako roared. That settled it. If it was bad for Tako then it would probably be good for everyone else. Shiyounin hoped she could trust Megamind. If this was all for nothing Tako Kujin would kill her. She ran towards the pond through the ranks of coi-bot and jumped. She screamed in fright as she drove her suit into a headlong dive straight into the bottom of the pond, hard enough to smash through the toughened glass dome that was its head.

The moment water splashed out of the shattered suit and hit a cube the splash magnified, and within seconds the pond was full of churning water. It bubbled as the fish reappeared, and then the water rippled gently with their movements. The fountain was gone.

And so was the threat to the coi.

"No!" shouted Tako. There was another splash as Megamind made his way back to the side of the pond and hauled himself out, uneaten and safe with Minion in one arm. The coi-bots paid him no attention. He looked up to see Bitey bringing Roxanne over to him. He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly as all the brainbots hovered around them protectively.

"Is it over?" Roxanne asked. iBot bounced up and down and started blaring music again. _Uprising_ by Muse.

_They will not force us,_

_They will stop degrading us,_

_They will not control us,_

_We will be victorious..._

Megamind had a bad feeling about this.

"No." He said.

Sure enough the coi-bots had advanced on Tako and were grabbing at her. Roxanne followed his gaze and gasped when she saw them pulling at her limbs and body.

"Oh God no they're ripping her apart." She said, horrified. Megamind watched.

"No. They're not. Let's move." He backed away from the pond as the little black robots approached.

They had set Tako down on the ground in front of them and were herding her closer to the pond. They had ringed her in. The water began to boil again when the coi in the pond realised she was there. Tako screamed and stared wildly at Megamind.

"Help me!" she begged. Despite everything she had put him through, every instinct he had wanted to help. But there were a thousand coi-bots between him and her, coi-bots who would turn on him and the people he loved the second he tried to interfere. He bowed his head and held Roxanne and Minion closer.

A coi-bot leapt out and aimed a flying kick at Tako's midsection, sending her tumbling into the water. She screamed as the water roiled harder than ever. Roxanne hid her face against Megamind's neck and shoulder.

After a few minutes of the three of them trying desperately not to listen the screaming woman and the water were silent. There was a coughing sound.

"I don't mean to be a pain but some water would be nice right about now." Minion piped up. Megamind shook himself.

"Of course. Come on." He led Roxanne and carried Minion upstairs to find his emergency bowl. He glanced back at the pond and felt nauseous. The water was stained red. He felt Roxanne turn to look in its direction and held her tighter. "Don't." He warned. For once she listened to him.


	14. Chapter 14

14

Megamind left Minion and Roxanne up in the suite and asked that they stay there. For a nice change there was no arguing from either of them. He went downstairs and examined the gruesome pond. The coi-bots stood around. Now they were free they didn't seem sure of what to do with themselves. Megamind approached one. It bubbled politely at him.

"That water needs to be filtered. Did Miss Kujeen have spare parts or anything we could use?" he asked. They led him outside to what looked like a little shrine of some sort, but contained only a staircase that went down. He followed it, knowing an evil lair when he saw one. Sure enough there was a huge lab full of fish tanks, work benches, storage bins full of parts and deactivated robots. He felt sick when he found a little basket containing small jars of samples labelled 'minion #2'. He found some tools and took a pump and filter out of one of the tanks. It would do for now.

He looked around curiously before he left. There was one framed photograph standing on the work bench. He recognised a teenaged Tako in a school uniform holding a trophy of some kind and standing between two dark-haired humans. The father smiled at the camera. The mother was looking down at Tako with an expression of pride on her face. Tako was staring blankly at the camera, emotionless. Megamind frowned and picked up the photograph. What he would have given for a human family at that age... he sighed. He didn't know what made Tako the way she was. And it didn't really matter anymore. He put the photo back and went back upstairs.

He went back to the pond and installed it, and sure enough the blood red waters started to clear. The coi-bots watched curiously and handed him tools. The brainbots hovered overhead and they all _bowwed_ and bubbled at each other.

"Finished." Megamind announced as he packed up the tools. Shiyounin, sans suit, popped her head up out of the water at him. She had a few grazes on her but looked otherwise all right.

Thankyou Mr. Mega Mind she said. He smiled.

Thankyou Shiyounin. We wouldn't have made it out of here without your help. he watched the fish swim peacefully around the pond. Some of the coi-bots were watching as well, tossing handfuls of fish flakes into the water. Megamind felt sorry for them, even though they seemed content enough in their robot bodies. Some were playing tag with his brainbots. Others had produced a ball and had started an impromptu soccer game. iBot was hovering over all DJ-ing their little robotic party. What will you do now?

That's up to the humans of this city. Now Miss Kujin is gone they'll come back here. she said. You are welcome to stay as long as you like. We are eternally grateful to for you freeing us.

Thanks but I think we'll leave tomorrow. We have a flight booked for the morning. I'll bring Minyon down to say goodbye before we go. She gave him a sweet fishy smile and swam away. Megamind wondered what the time was. He got up and grimaced at the feel of the damp clothes on his skin. He really needed a shower, but wanted one more thing before he went back to the suite. He made his way back to the dining room.

Roxanne pretended to be asleep when Megamind came back. He stood in the doorway watching her for a long time, slightly disappointed she'd changed out of his suit but still appreciative of the strappy satin night dress she was wearing. She heard the shower start up. Minion was asleep in his travel-bowl in the lounge. It hadn't taken Roxanne long to get over the carnage downstairs. If anyone had deserved to be eaten alive by ravenous genetically-modified coi fish it had was Tako Kujin. It had been her own sadistic trap she had been caught in anyway so Roxanne felt no sympathy for the poisonous bitch. She had sat with the shaken Minion until he had fallen asleep, taken a long shower, dressed, left a gift for Megamind in the bathroom, and gotten into bed. Her head spun with the day's events. It was all so unreal, but she was elated. They had won! Again!

Of course she had been on the winning side for most of her life what with her friendship and alleged relationship with Metro Man. Winning was routine back then, but now with Megamind every victory was...exciting! Harder-fought and more dangerous, that was for sure, but with a definite sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

The shower was turned off and a few minutes later she heard him mutter something along the lines of "You've got to be kidding me." Roxanne chuckled to herself and waited for him. There he stood against the doorway with his arms crossed over his bare chest. She couldn't see his glare in the moonlight coming through the window but she knew it was there.

"Ha ha ha." He said. She'd replaced his pyjamas on the shelf in the bathroom with a pair of black satin boxer shorts with flying saucers, stars and big blue alien heads printed on them. She'd bought them for him a long time ago but never knew if she would ever get to see them on him.

"You look good." She said. He rubbed his arms with his hands.

"It's not very warm." He said. She pushed the bed sheet back.

"It's warm in here." She said, sounding far more casual than she felt. He hesitated and then climbed into the bed with her. Slightly surprised she had won without a fight Roxanne snuggled into him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Better?"

"Mmm." He said. She wrapped her arm around his waist and breathed in deeply. He was wearing that cologne again and smelled fantastic.

"What's the time?" she asked.

"Twelve."

"What time is our flight tomorrow?"

"Seven."

"Are you okay?"

"Mmm."

"Oh will you relax? I'm not going to maul you." She poked him in the ribs.

"Ow. Was that necessary?"

"Yes."

"I suppose you don't want this back then?" he asked and held something up with the hand she wasn't laying on top of. It glittered in the moonlight.

"You found it!" Roxanne exclaimed. She'd thought her bracelet was gone, that Tako had taken it or thrown it away.

"It was on the floor. In the dining room. Where you threw it after you dumped me _again_." He said. She held up her arm and he awkwardly tried to fasten it for her one-handed.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"I should have listened to you. She knocked me unconscious and tied me to a chair, then I woke up in that bizarre life-threatening scenario. You have no idea how terrifying it was." He sighed. She rolled her eyes.

"Mmm yeah I can imagine." She said as if he hadn't done the exact same thing to her several dozen times over the years. "At least we get back to Metrosity tomorrow." Megamind frowned and looked down at her.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Metro City. We get home tomorrow."

"You said..."

"No I didn't." He began to laugh and hugged her tightly.

"Drop it." She warned. He laughed harder so she poked him again. He squirmed.

"Stop that. It..." he didn't know the word.

"Tickles." She helped and ran her fingertips over his stomach. For some reason she'd never considered that the devilishly handsome master of all villainy might be ticklish. He flinched and held his free hand over hers.

"Stop that! What's gotten into you?" He asked. She normally wasn't all that playful.

"We won. Again." She said. He took a deep breath and smiled.

"You're right. We did, didn't we?" he laughed and kissed the top of her head. Roxanne decided she had waited long enough and pressed her lips to his. She was encouraged when he kissed her back with unprecedented enthusiasm. It surprised them both when, for the first time, she felt his tongue brush against hers. She drew him in deeper and stroked the side of his face and head. He found himself weaving his fingers into her hair. His heart was thudding fast in his chest but that was fine, so was hers. Roxanne touched his stomach (taking care not to tickle this time) and slowly began to explore that blue body she was so curious about. _Maybe this isn't so scary_, Megamind thought to himself as he ran his lips over that part of her neck he'd been fascinated with earlier on that day. She made a small, barely audible moan in the back of her throat and he found himself grinning.

That was an exciting sound. He wondered what others she made.


	15. Chapter 15

15

It was very early morning and no one but Minion had gotten much sleep. Even the brainbots were looking a little lethargic after partying all night.

"Come on you can sleep on the plane. Take me downstairs. Please?" Begged Minion. Megamind stifled a yawn and looked over at Roxanne who was still packing her multitude of womanly things into her inadequate suitcase. She felt his gaze on her and flashed him a shy smile.

"You two go on ahead. I'll finish up here." She said. Megamind smiled back and carried Minion downstairs to see Shiyounin.

The robots had trashed City Hall. It looked like the Kiss Army had stayed there for a week. There were several robots in the pool attempting to swim (apparently swimming was not one of their strong points. They were being dragged to the side of the pond by several dozen coi fish.), there were holes in the walls, doors torn off hinges and broken windows (the holes looked suspiciously soccer ball sized). He tipped Minion from his bowl into the pond and watched him swim off to meet Shiyounin. The pond..._a pond_! That's what Minion needed at home! He mentally scrapped his aquarium plans.

Minion found Shiyounin easily. She stood out from the others with her pearlescent white scales.

"Minion!" she called to him and swam around him in circles. He smiled at her and rubbed against her in the fish version of a hug. Her face fell. "You going now?"

"Yeah. The taxi should be here in a few minutes." He said. She stared at him blankly. He sighed, making it his new goal to learn Japanese. She frowned in concentration.

"My suit fixed, you get new suit...Skype?" she asked. He tried to work out what she was saying...Skype? She wanted to Skype with him?

"Awesome!" he shouted and swam around her in fast circles. "Yes! Definitely! I'll set up an account as soon as I get home!" There was that blank stare again. "I'll miss you." He said.

"I miss you." She pecked him on the cheek. "Come back?"

"Yes." He said.

"Minion! The taxi's here. Roxanne!" Megamind was calling.

"Yeah yeah." She walked downstairs. Two brainbots struggled with her luggage _bowwing_ their complaints to one another.

It was the same taxi driver as she'd had the previous night. His face went white when he saw the glowing brainbots.

"No robots!" he shouted as they tossed the luggage into the boot.

We need to get to the airport. Take us there or I'll tell them to take the wheels off your car. Megamind threatened.

"What did you say?" Roxanne asked as the driver politely began to help load their bags into the car.

"I told him they're harmless." Megamind said.

"Oh."

At the airport they didn't get the clear run they had last time. There was chaos in the airport. According to the news reports the mayor had disappeared overnight and the city was in anarchy. Megamind attracted suspicious stares. The brainbots refused to be packed away and instead hovered around their people _bowwing_ at anyone who came too close. In the end airport security arrested them and it took some careful negotiation by Megamind to get them home.

Roxanne thought he had been very clever and diplomatic. He never let her know that he had bribed the officer in charge to simply deport them on charges of foreign robot possession.

Back in Metro City the mayor had come out to welcome them. There were photographers and press questioning them about their role in the fall of the Neo Kyoto government ("No comment." Roxanne had said sweetly to Harry Newman.). Megamind tried to be appreciative of the attention but really all he wanted to do was go home to Not Evil Lair, put Minion into one of his tanks and sleep for a week or two.

His eyes fell on Roxanne.

"So...are you going home?" he asked as a limousine pulled up. It sure wasn't the Invisible Car but it would do.

"Do you want some time alone?" she asked.

"No."

"Me either."

"You know you do have some work to do, sir. I'm not much use to you in a bowl am I?" Minion piped up.

"Yes yes of course Minion. I'll start building first thing tomorrow." He said.

"In which case I'll need my fish flakes, maybe some of those dried shrimp and my boxed set of _Sea Quest DSV_." Megamind rolled his eyes. With all that Minion wouldn't want to leave his room for a week.

Once home they were greeted by an escort of brainbots. They swarmed on Megamind, all wanting his attention. All but Bitey and iBot anyway. They were content to hover beside Roxanne and have Mommy all to themselves. She patted them absently while she watched Megamind play Fetch the Wrench with the rest of them, and then she made sure Minion was comfortable with his voice-activated screens and snacks. As she left she was sure she heard him setting up a Skype account. She shook her head, wishing the whole situation felt more weird to her than it did. The insanity that surrounded Megamind had become commonplace to her. She walked off to find Megamind, humming to the tune iBot was playing beside her

She came across Megamind, once again comfortably dressed in his black and blue body suit, in the kitchen making coffee. It was strange seeing him do something so normal. Normally he would have Minion using some strange home-made nuclear-powered espresso machine...

"What do you think of New Not Evil Lair?" he asked.

"It's not as cold and damp as the last lair." She said. It looked like a normal house on the inside if you ignored the little extras (such as the robotics lab, the Death Ray monitoring centre and the alligator enclosure).

"Would you...could you see yourself living here? One day I mean not right now." he asked as he spooned sugar upon sugar into his coffee cup. He'd made hers already. Cream with no sugar.

"As long as I get to keep my apartment for when you blow up the bedroom or your alligators use up all the hot water." She said. He grinned.

"Deal." He put down his cup and spun her around the kitchen kissing her as he did. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled as she felt his lips brush against her neck. "Ow!" he yelped and jumped. Bitey hovered behind him waving a mechanical finger in front of his face.

_No no no biting Mommy!_ It _bowwed_ at him sternly.

"Go away!" he swatted at it. It hovered pointing to its eye and then at Megamind in an 'I'm watching you' gesture.

Roxanne sipped her coffee and watched the bickering that would inevitably end with Megamind being bitten with a smile on her face.

She was home.


	16. Chapter 16

Epilogue

"One more second...we're online!" Megamind said. The webcam window on the giant screen showed Shiyounin in her white robotic suit as good as new.

Can you see me? I can see you now! she said.

Yes we can. And may I present the new and improved...Minion! Megamind stood away from the camera.

"Oooooh." Shiyounin said. "Minion! Very handsome!" Minion danced in his new black enamelled suit breaking out moves that would have been impossible in the old one. In the end he had asked for the fur and other gorilla features to be incorporated into the design. He just didn't feel like Minion without them. iBot was in the background cranking out _I'm sexy and I know it_. Shiyounin laughed and clapped.

Very nice, very nice. Mr. Mega Mind, you fixed the problem with the synthetic brain then?

Yes it wasn't hard. I just needed some space to think about it. he had filled his entire lab with notes and drawings but in the end it had taken him less than a week.

Well done! she said.

Minion's been busy too. said Megamind. Minion nervously sat down in front of the camera.

Good day Miss Shiyounin. he said slowly. She gasped.

Minion! That's amazing!

Thanking you with my beautiful pineapple. he said happily. She blinked. Megamind closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead near the base of his nose.

"I told you to practice more often."

"Give me a break. You know most people find it impressive that a fish speaks _one_ language!" he snapped.

How are things in Neo Kyoto? Megamind asked.

Things are good. The humans are in charge now. We offered to keep serving the city in exchange for keeping City Hall as a coi sanctuary.

Is that good? Minion asked.

Yes. We don't mind the work. We get along with the people well now we aren't filming inside their homes or carting away dissidents. she said.

I found the exact same thing. Megamind remarked.

Where is the lovely Roxanne? she asked, craning her neck to see if the human woman was in the room.

Shopping. Apparently my taste in furnishings is inadequate. Megamind rolled his eyes. He'd modified his prison bunk to fit two but she still hadn't been happy.

You must come to visit. We would love to have you here! Shiyounin suggested.

We'd love to come to the city within you have to choose of inhabiting! Minion said excitedly. Shiyounin giggled. "Can we go Megamind? Please? Please? Please? You can make it my birthday present!"

"You can go Minion." said Megamind. That would work perfectly. It would be nice to get their fishy third-wheel out of the way for a while.

He left the two fish to carry out their mismatched conversation and went upstairs to his...their...bedroom. It had been redecorated and no longer resembled his cell. The bunk had been removed pending delivery of their new bed later on today. Megamind's protesting had mostly been for show. He loved the way Roxanne looked when she was arguing with him. It reminded him of the old days when he'd had her tied up in his lair. So he'd argued, and he'd lost spectacularly. He didn't really mind. He'd found over the last week or so his trouble sleeping seemed to have disappeared as long as Roxanne was there. Whether it had been in her bed at her apartment, or on his sofa, or on the back seat of the Invisible Car, curled up around her he'd slept like a log.


	17. Chapter 17

Just a little note at the end...

Thanks everyone for reading and the feedback, I've been really happy with the reviews you guys have left! There might be a one-shot side project I've been working on for the over 18's coming soon (if it turns out good enough) I hope you've all enjoyed Eastern Exploits!


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